LOML , standing for Love Of My Life . that is him* . prettie much a big misunderstandingg as far as “break” and “break up” . i guess were on a break . giving him his space and time to realize what he wants . in the end it’ll benefit us if were meant to be . tonight , i reactivated my FB. for the first time all week , im feeling better. he told me tonight in all clarity that he wanted to be with me . i simply asked ; do you wanna be with me to make me happie , or yourself? TRICK QUESTION mind you . he replied “for both of us to be happie” . when i read that text, THAT told me that he’s already learned so much frm this experience. a relationship is a two way street, if only ONE person is happy, then it’ll never work . he realizes that now and i feel content . when this break is over and we get back to being an US , i can honestly say were going to be stronger than ever. and i cant wait to see whats in store regarding our future. i know i know , this is totally opposite frm last nights post. buht i do love him , dont trust him anymore, but that can be gained back in time. we’ve put a lot of work into our relationship and if its worth it , work at it. which is what we are going to do. sometimes i forget that im his first serious relationship, so he has no idea how to handle certain situations , but it’ll get better . as a person, i feel stronger .
The title is self explanitory.. It’s Been 3 days since the break up .. Everyday gets a little bit easier but it’s still incredibly hard to deal with.. I know it’s just a ‘break’ but I never imagined us being where we are now..you were never happy , you lied to me & now I’m the one broken, empty & crying myself to sleep every night. I’m not perfect & maybe I pushed you away, but I know for a fact I was at least honest.. You ‘don’t know if you wanna be with me’ but then you say you do. Your confused. You need time. I need time. Your scared. I’m hurt. Relationships aren’t going to be perfect, not even close. They take two people who care about each other enough to work at it & make it better. Your in my future,your who i want. I’ve never questioned that. But now , I question our whole past 9 months, do you really even love me? You lied to me daily & now Im supposed to believe you when you tell me I love you. I don’t trust you at all anymore. I put my heart and soul into you, you say I’m young & I need to go have fun, not realizing that I don’t need to go out & ‘party’ I’m content with having fun with you.. I’m settling down. Well, that’s what I wanted to do. We definitely don’t see eye to eye but theres no one else in this world I’d rather spend my life with than you. You know me better than anyone, my family adores you & I just couldn’t start over again.. If this is the end , then let me know now so I can move on & get stronger.. If we are going to try again , I need to know things will be different. We’ll work harder. Improve ourselves as not only a whole, but as individuals. If our love really is as strong as I feel it is, then this is the beginning of something new.